Surprises

[Dafna536]

Юмористический высокорейтинговый яой. Первый раз читаю такое.. Интересный у автора стиль. Алукард/Пип конечно же.

www.fanfiction.net/s/4111807/1/Surprises

Hello! This is my first Hellsing fic so please enjoy! I thought there ought to be more Alucard x Pip pairings in the world so I decided to dedicate this piece to them. : )

I hope you enjoy and I am so sorry, I tried to do Pip's accent and I think it went a little bit wrong. It just doesn't seem right otherwise! I hope you can understand it and you don't find the phonetic spelling too horrific.

Pleeaaase review!! If you do I will be forever in your debt and love you always...pretty please: )

Anyway, enjoy!

I in no way hold any rights over Hellsing or any of its characters, if I did Alucard and Anderson would do WAY more than just fight...he he he...

xXx

Pip Bernandette was terrified, or, to more eloquently put it really, really fucking scared.

He was going to get jumped by a vampire.

A bloody vampire!

It wouldn't have been as bad if it was that cute Seras Victoria girl after him. Hell, it probably would have been him chasing her, not the other way around. She had that sweet timid look about her (not to mention absolutely humungous breasts) and from just looking at her you would never guess that she was in fact of the vampiric persuasion, she was simply way too cute! People like her don't go around eating people! (Well apparently they did but Pip was happily blocking out that fact at this current point.)

But no. There was no beautiful big-breasted vampirina for Pip. He had got the other one.

Yes, that was it, Pip Bernandette was being chased by an excessively horny Alucard, and it had taken all of his skills as a mercenary for his pants to remain on so far.

Bloody Alucard...

It wasn't that the guy was bad looking, quite the reverse in fact. Pip was a pretty easy guy when it came to sex and normally the prospect of sleeping with someone with looks like Alucard's would've seemed pretty tempting, but that was the problem.

Alucard was Alucard, complete with all of his wonderful personality quirks (if you consider being the most blood-thirsty guy in the whole of bloody England a 'quirk').

The prospect of actually sleeping with the guy terrified him! Just look at those teeth! Hell, what was to say if he put his cock in the vampire's mouth he wouldn't bloody bite the thing off! Pip shuddered at the thought.

Alucard had been in hot pursuit of Pip for the last two-hours, at intervals shouting out exactly what he was going to do to the petrified mercenary the moment he got his hands on him, regardless of what the other occupants of the Hellsing Manor might think.

This was why Pip was currently hiding behind a corner in a reasonably unused corridor, hoping, no, praying, that Alucard would simply give up and go back to doing whatever vampires do to occupy themselves when they had free time.

Like that would ever happen.

This was Alucard.

There was an ominous breaking noise from the end of the corridor, sounded like something, a vase or something, had been knocked over and smashed when someone had walked past it.

A definite signal of an impending Alucard.

Pip readied himself. Getting himself in a position where he could easily run in the opposite direction he raised his gun, aimed it at where he thought Alucard would come into range, and waited.

It wasn't like he was seriously out to hurt the vampire, hell, if this was the only way to escape the attentions of a waay overexcited Alucard than so be it. He had seen how the guy could bounce back after being blown to bits so he supposed his measly shots would only slow him down enough for Pip to make a speedy getaway. Perfect! Pip's trousers would remain securely in place and everyone would be happy (well, not including Alucard).

Pip smiled in satisfaction at his plan, still pointing his gun at the turn in the corridor where Alucard would soon come into vision.

That was when he heard the smug voice behind him.

"Waiting for someone, Mr Bernandette?"

Pip almost fired his gun in shock.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

The bastard was behind him! Shit! The bloody vase must have been a ploy to bet him to focus his attention elsewhere whilst Alucard, the sneaky bastard, snuck up behind him!

This was a baaaad situation, he was beginning to fear for the safety of his nether regions.

He might just be able to turn it around though...

Planning to whip around and land Alucard a heavy blow with his gun, therefore leaving the vampire dazed and Pip free to run to the hills, Pip raised his weapon in preparation...only to have all hope of escape dashed from him as he watched, as if in slow motion, one of Alucard's gloved hands move around him and carelessly knock the heavy gun to the floor, then feel strong arms wrap around him.

Oh dear...Pip thought he needed to rethink his escape plan.

Alucard was now rather too close for comfort Pip, his back was being crushed into the vampire's chest and...certain...parts...of Alucard were now distressingly pressing into Pip in all the wrong places.

Alucard's cool breath whispered across Pip's exposed ear.

"Why Mr Bernandette," the vampire began, satisfied amusement dripping from the words, "not trying to run away now, are we?"

Alucard's words were punctuated by him beginning to slowly grind his now obviously aroused member into Pip, eliciting a whimper from the recipient of these attentions.

Now this was a tight situation. Pip was going to need to do some serious fast talking in order to get out of this one.

Desperately trying to ignore ministrations the vampire was now lavishing upon him Pip nervously began to speak.

"Look, Alucard", he started "zorry 'bout zat, you crept up on me and I was, you know, a leettle bit shocked. No 'ard feelings, eh?"

No reply. Alucard only continued with his pressing into Pip only now he had allowed his hands to wonder, something Pip wasn't exactly ecstatic about.

Desperately trying to find a way out of this situation as quickly as possible, Pip somewhat hurriedly continued.

"Anyway anyway, I know you are a busy man zo I'd better be off, you know", Pip grinned desperately, realising how futile his attempt was while he spoke "I'm sure you 'ave things do zo I wont get in your way".

Pip attempted to take a step forward yet was held firmly in place by Alucard's arms still wrapped around him.

Merde...

A laugh sounded behind him and Pip felt strong fingers affectionately comb through his hair.

"It is really no trouble, Mr Bernandette, I haven't been issued a mission for months and I can't think of a better way to occupy my time than with you as I am now," he paused, "or rather" the vampire continued, his voice now laced with unconcealed lust, "how we will be occupying it later, I mean"

It was going to be an interesting experience for Pip.

Alucard liked it rough.

Slamming Pip backwards into the wall the vampire began to ravage the mercenary's mouth, slipping a nimble tongue between the man's reluctant lips when he cried out in shock, effectively silencing the sound.

Pip almost spluttered when the invading tongue moved against his own, shocked at the electric sensations it caused to run through him. Who knew Alucard was such a good kisser? The vampire's tongue was certainly longue enough, the realisation of this causing Pip to clamp down on his overactive imagination already filling his mind with various uses that dexterous organ could be put to. There was no way he was letting that mouth anywhere near there... well, at least for now, that was.

Alucard seemed to be growing impatient with just kissing, his hands once again skimming across the mercenary's clothed body, moving across his chest then taking a definite southward route to a stunned Pip's groin, promptly beginning to move against the concealed organ, pressing and massaging against it.

Pip moaned at the sensation, feeling himself harden beneath Alucard's skilled hands as the vampire continued to press against the clothed organ, Alucard's own erection painfully obvious within his own clothing.

Feeling cool hands working at is belt Pip could only lean against the man in front of him for support, breathing deeply, as strong hands freed him of his jeans and grasped his aching length, pumping harshly, causing the organ to become even harder and a small amount of pearly pre-cum to form at the tip.

Although Pip's thoughts were pretty much incoherent now, he did have enough rationality left to wonder whether he should be returning the favour to Alucard, well aware of Alucard's as of yet untended arousal. However, the thought was shoved out of his head when he was roughly whipped around (Alucard's hand swiftly removed from his cock)and forced against the wall, chest pressing against it, while the vampire behind him lavished kisses and gentle nips (yet not gentle enough not to be worrying) on Pip's shoulders and neck.

This was when Pip felt Alucard's fingers at his mouth which were instantly pushed into that warm cavern without waiting for any sign of admittance. Pip almost choked on the long digits as they coated themselves in his moisture.

Pip was in a state of shock. He was actually enjoying this. Really, really enjoying this. His painfully hard cock gave even throbbed at the very though of what was going to happen next. Hell, Pip, thought, it might even be good, you never know until you try, and Pip liked surprises.

After removing the digits from the now Panting Pip, Alucard paused for a moment , apparently thinking, then swiftly forcing several fingers into the mercenary's tight unprepared entrance simultaneously, causing the man to growl a pained "Zteady on! Zat 'urt! ".

The vampire let out a low laugh in reply, making the small hairs on the back of Pip's neck stand on end (yes, that is the effect of Alucard's laughter).

Alucard leaned in close to Pip's ear.

"Well, mercenary," the words were dripping with dark amusement," I simply thought that a man of your calibre would have been able to deal with a little pain." The vampire let out a laugh. "You have lost an eye after all so I imagined that a meagre thing like this would have been nothing. I was wrong, it seems."

While speaking the vampire had begun to slowly pump the digits in and out of the mercenary, causing Pip to grit his teeth and bite back a curse.

So, Alucard was going to mock him, was he? Hell, Pip thought ANYONE would have been a little shocked if they suddenly had two fingers rammed into them with no warning, so it was fair to say Alucard was being a bit of a sadistic prick.

Well, Pip was going to show that vampire just how accommodating he could be...

"Oh, I'm zorry," he began innocently "you juzt caught me a leetle of guard, zat's all. Now..." Pip lowered his voice seductively and turned his head to be able to look the vampire in the eyes. "Why don't you 'urry up with zat zo we can get down to some real action." He paused. "Or don't you zink you are up to eet, eh?"

Alucard met the challenge with an amused raised eyebrow, somewhere during the speech having managed to release his arousal, shocking Pip with the size of it.

"Really Mr Bernandette..."the vampire worded, as if savouring every syllable "I think you'll find me quite up to the challenge, as you put it, I just hope you can keep up with me, that's all", a dangerously innocent smile forming on his features as he positioned his arousal at the mercenary's opening.

Pip was about to cockily reply to the vampire when his words were forced out of him in a strangled yell, Alucard having suddenly plunged into the mercenary to the hilt, abused entrance stretching around the invading member.

Alucard nuzzled into Bernandette's honey blond hair, breathing in his rich musky scent, moaning deeply and marvelling at how wonderfully tight Pip was, pleasure shooting from his cock at being so deliciously gripped.

Pip gasped in pain, trying to force himself to become accustomed to having Alucard sheathed within him, anything to try and dull the searing pain currently running in electric pulses throughout his body. Thankfully Alucard had been considerate enough to at least pause while Pip grew used to the intrusion, this was easier said than done on the vampire's part however as his instinct was to roughly pound into Pip's warm body, something which he only managed to restrain himself from doing by sheer will power.

It was only when Pip began to move against Alucard, pushing and grinding against him, trying to get Alucard in deeper, always deeper that the vampire stopped holding himself back.

Roughly grabbing the mercenary's straining arousal and pumping it harshly the vampire began to relentlessly thrust in and out of the man before him, sometimes grinding deeply other times pulling out almost completely to slam back into that tight hot body.

Pip was finding it hard to cope with all the sensations he was being dealt with. He'd never had it like this before. When Pip had had sex on past occasions it always been soft and tender, something which Pip the paid killer found hard to deal with.

This was real. This was rough and hard and oh so alive (even if one of the participants was, technically, dead) and it caused Pip to shudder and moan from the sheer reality of it, the sensation of being pressed up against the cold stone wall, the slick sensuousness of the member sliding in and out of him, hitting against that oh so special spot inside Pip again and again, how Alucard's hand mercilessly pumped his straining length, causing Pip to shiver and write under the heated touch.

Fuck it was hot...even Alucard seemed to have trouble coping.

The vampire's teeth seemed to have lengthened slightly, his eyes closed in ecstasy growling deeply as he quickened his pace thrusting harder, deeper and faster into Pip.

Pip let out a pleasure filled moan at the extra stimulation, heat pooling in his stomach he wasn't going to last long.

"A-Al-llucard...",he managed to utter, voice husky from sex "I...I'm going to-" words as his head was pulled to the side and lips captured in a predatory kiss, thrusts becoming harder and more erratic, finally pushing Bernandette over the edge.

Coming with a pleasured shout Pip spilled himself over the vampire's hand, simultaneously clamping down on his lover's cock still deep within him.

This was too much for Alucard. Yell echoing Pip's he released deep within the mercenary, still pumping in and out of the man until completely spent.

Pulling out, exhausted, Alucard yanked Pip into a rough embrace where they slowly slipped to the floor, arms still entwined, foreheads touching, as they tried to reclaim some of their lost stamina on the floor of that lonely corridor.

They remained that way for some time, both panting and in a state of pleasure filled haze.

This didn't last too long, however.

The couple were suddenly pulled out of their tender moment by a scream emanating from the end of the corridor, where a horror filled Integra gawped at her two subordinates still in various states of undress.

Pip felt Alucard seize up beside him.

Life at Hellsing Manor had suddenly become more interesting.

xXx

What do you think? I found this piece really enjoyable to write (I love Pip's personality) and I hope it shows in the writing.

Oh, another thing.

To put Pip with the French accent or without the French accent. I found it wierd without it 'cus I'm so used to French Pip but then I'm not so sure about it in a fic so you'll have to give me your opinions on that also.

Hope you enjoyed, Merkswinter.

Yodel xxxx