Великолепный Ян Валентайн !Американская озвучка ОVA 2

Имхо - это лучший актер во всей озвучке 4-х серий ОВАшек. По сравнению с ним все - Люк, Интегра, Уолтер, и писклявая Серас .звучат нелепо и смешно. Он шикарен. Я его просто обожаю. Конечно, я вырезала не все, только те моменты, в которых вообще можно разобрать то, что он говорит
Скачивать mp3 здесь
Текст не весь, опять же, первых моментов нет.
Но в начале могу сказать, что он пытается рассмешить Люка рассказом про то, как пластический хирург вырезал какому то парню по заказу окно в черепе и вставил туда стеклышко, чтобы были видны мозги. Хех..Этого не было в японской версии ^^
Потом поубивав половину охраны Хеллсинговского поместья говорит:
I'm so fucking hard!
К Интегре, когда он идет по коридору:
Little Hellsing chicky we're coming to find you
Come on out and play little Hellsing
I promise it's gonna be a lot of fun
I just wanna torture you
kill you
Maybe skoal fuck the corpse couple of times
Burning the house to the ground
Then go home and masturbate. Oookay?

Тут приходит Уолтер и рубит его компанию гулей в капусту. Валентайн, оправившись от шока:
Ha-ha-ha...That's fucking great!

После перестрелки, когда Виктория на него напрыгивает:
Get off bitch! I'm supposed to be on top! (ну нет этого в оригинале..хе-хе..а импровизирует он классно)

Get off fuck off me, fucking vampire slut! Is this chick the best you got?No one as you are went down like a fucking butler's pussy. (o_O не поняла последнего предложения )

На допрос Уолтера :
Me? I'm just a tourist I was passing by totally by my own business and thought to have a look.So we cool, duuude?
Про брата:
Right now Big Brother Valentine is downstairs beating Alucard to a carpet stain.

Про свои планы:
You, people so fucking dead and don't even know it

Выводя новую компашку гулей:
And now our next trick!- check out a door number three!!

Hurry. Крутого Алукарда качать здесь
Позже выложу пламенную прочувствованную речь Люка, из-за которой я почти поверила в их пейринг с Алукардом XD)

@темы: Humor, Hellsing

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Innocence is the Forgotten

Вышли две новые главы . Мне нравится это произведение, очень нравится. Я получаю искреннее удовольствие от чтения и теперь жду появления новых глав как прихода пятницы, так как сюжет становится все более интригующим.
Но скажите мне те, кто читает, это у меня такое предвзятое мнение или Абрахам и правда слегка истеричен? и вообще модели поведения всех героев довольно-таки женские? Может я просто привыкла к суровому мужскому Поводку, и к тому, что "садистом можешь ты не быть, но живодером быть обязан"...
OFFTOP Объясните мне, как можно ( не по приказу хозяина) изнасиловать существо, которое свободно проходит сквозь стены, меняет форму и растворяется в тенях?????

Землетрясения

PPS. Я знаю, что я херней занимаюсь, но объясните мне почему количество зелетрясений за последние месяцы выросло настолько, что у меня глаза на лоб полезли, когда я уидела карту мониторинговой американской службы. Это что-то из ряда вон. Сижу тут в легком шоке и тихонько радуюсь, что у нас не особо сейсмичная зона. Может я и ошибаюсь, но боюсь где-то скоро должно тряхнуть очень сильно. Если эти американские программы не глючат, то это больше похоже на какое-то глобальное движение плит. Трясет Калифорнию и Аляску. Офигенно так трясет, и это не просто затухающие колебания от произошедшего там не так давно 6.6 магнитудного землетрясения, это нечто иное и довольно-таки интеесное.

запись создана: 13.04.2010 в 09:00

@темы: I dare say..., Fanfiction

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Алукард и Серас. Это странно.

Dreaming by ~AlexChatte on deviantART

@темы: Art, Alucard

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Между сердцем и полночью

Северус Снейп в Алукардовском кресле.

Snape in Alucard's chair by ~AlexChatte on deviantART

@темы: Hellsing, Art, Alucard

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Первая работа Тима Бертона 1982 г.

Что интересно, текст читает собственно сам легендарный Винсент Прайс - актер , известный своими ролями злодеев и сумасшедших в фильмах ужасов того времени «Падение Дома Ашеров», «Ворон», «Маска красной смерти», «Ужасный доктор Файбс», «Театр крови».
ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Прайс,_Винсент

Текст стихотворения

Vincent Malloy is seven years old.
He’s always polite and does what he’s told.
For a boy his age he’s considerate and nice,
But he wants to be just like Vincent Price.

He doesn’t mind living with his sister, dog and cats,
Though he’d rather share a home with spiders and bats.
There he could reflect on the horrors he’s invented,
And wander dark hallways alone and tormented.

Vincent is nice when his aunt comes to see him,
But imagines dipping her in wax for his wax museum.
He likes to experiment on his dog Abercromby
In the hopes of creating a horrible zombie,
So he and his horrible zombie dog
Could go searching for victims in the London fog.

His thoughts though aren’t only of ghoulish crime,
He likes to paint and read to pass some of the time.
While other kids read books like “Go Jane Go”,
Vincent’s favorite author is Edgar Allan Poe.

One night while reading a gruesome tale
He read a passage that made him turn pale.
Such horrible news he could not survive,
For his beautiful wife had been buried alive!
He dug out her grave to make sure she was dead,
Unaware that her grave was his mother’s flower bed.

His mother sent Vincent off to his room.
He knew he’d been banished to the tower of doom,
Where he was sentenced to spend the rest of his life,
Alone with a portrait of his beautiful wife.

While alone and insane, encased in his tomb,
Vincent’s mother burst suddenly into the room.
She said: “If you want to, you can go out and play,
It’s sunny outside and a beautiful day.”

Vincent tried to talk, but he just couldn’t speak,
The years of isolation had made him quite weak.
So he took out some paper, and scrawled with a pen:
“I am possessed by this house, and can never leave it again.”

His mother said:
“You’re not possessed, and you’re not almost dead.
These games that you play are all in your head.
You’re not Vincent Price, you’re Vincent Malloy.
You’re not tormented or insane, you’re just a young boy.
You’re seven years old, and you’re my son,
I want you to get outside and have some real fun.”

Her anger now spent, she walked out through the hall,
While Vincent backed slowly against the wall.
The room started to sway, to shiver and creak,
His horrid insanity had reached its peak!
He saw Abercromby, his zombie slave
And heard his wife call from beyond the grave.
She spoke from her coffin, and made ghoulish demands,
While through cracking walls reached skeleton hands…

Every horror in his life that had crept through his dreams,
Swept his mad laughter to terrified screams.
To escape the badness, he reached for the door,
But fell limp and lifeless down on the floor.

His voice was soft and very slow,
As he quoted “The Raven” from Edgar Allan Poe:
“And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted – Nevermore!”

Первевод natasha-skazzka.livejournal.com/62605.html

@темы: Humor

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Насчет обращения Алукарда к хозяевам

Вот таки заинтересовал меня этот вопрос....Как он обращается к Интегре и вообще к хозяевам -на "ты" или на "вы". Ну я знаю только одного прожженного специалиста в хеллсинговском каноне -Тесс. Какие бы ни были у нее нестандартные теории и версии, насколько бы я ни была несогласна с ней, ее знание канона, преканона и пр. и пр. не устает поражать мой больной мозг.
Вот я на своей ломаном английском задала ей вопрос:
-We've got a discussion about it. I don't know the specific of Japanese language, but I know it's far more complicated then english and russian altogether especially when it comes to "adressing" thing. There's no such thing in english like in russian in using "you". So I think I should explain it in German example: they using "Du" to a person they know well, and "Sie" - as a polite version.So how Alucard adressing to his Masters? Du or Sie?
-Alucard's always informal with everyone. I mean sometimes he's polite to Integra (waga aruji is a polite way to address her), but he "omae" (a ultra familiar/rude in most cases of people he doesn't know) to everyone. Integra uses familiar/affectionate with him (the way she says "he" for instance)Also he says "kisama" a lot to his enemies (which is a rude way of "you" = bastard)..So I'll say "Du".

Кто знает японский? Что вы об этом думаете?

И в догонку - обращение Интегры к Алукарду.

How Integra addresses Alucard

A little bit of discussion for the community. I have noticed in some AxI fanfiction (manga set fanfiction) that even if it's really good they have Integra... harsher with Alucard? Now I realize I'm guilty of this myself. People having her call him "monster" or "vampire" probably subject of bad translation (the OVA dub, I'm looking at you. Since when "baka" aka stupid, idiot, git means "monster" huh? Stop destroying the characterization with inaccurate scripts, please).

I sat down and I read all the ten volumes again to straighten my facts when writing them and I thought I might share it. Integra addresses him MOSTLY as "Alucard." That's right, by his name. Or by a simple "you". On occasion, she uses "servant" (mostly when she greets him back or when she's, not comically, angry). Two times, when they stood as equals (Wizardry and Romancia, which is probably lasting), as Count. And the times she was angry in a humorous/romantic way to him, she used BAKA aka idiot, stupid, bloody git, etc. She insults Alucard not because of what he is, but how he acts: as a stupid man.

She hurls monster as insult to her enemies. And once uses "vampire/bloodsucker/Draculina" as insult to Seras (not Alucard) in the beginning before she didn't know the girl and later on drops it for humane version (naughty/bad girl/kid, brat).

I hope this was helpful. I commit some of this mistakes too. It's just a fanon that seems pointless.

@темы: Hellsing, Alucard

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Я не могу это не выложить. Он прекрасен.

Who's next? by *Videros on deviantART

@темы: Hellsing, Alucard

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Help!

Господа! Товарищи! Друзья! Мне осточертело, что торрент у меня простаивает (при моей то безлимитке это просто грех).
Посоветуйте пожалуйста, чего можно поскачивать в свое удовольствие.
1. Интересуют книги (только зарубежные) - любые которые вам понравились и почему.
2. Аниме - только что-то действительно интересное, так как не анимешник я совершенно. (мистика с немрачным сюжетом и харизматичными героями, может быть что-то исключительно национально вроде самураев и пр.)
3. Фильмы (что-то классическое, заумное вроде "Донни Дарко", "Пролетая над гнездом кукушки", "Планета Ка-Пекс" и пр.-тоже буду искать с английской дорожкой)
Ну и вообще просто...Может быть что-то вспомните..

P.S. Кто нибудь читал "Большие ожидания"? Стоит оно надрываться в оригинале? Я вроде всего Диккенса прочла, но ни фига не помню, читала эту книгу или нет.

UPD. Убиться ап стену. Психбольница на девианте Llama badges evolution А ведь у меня их уже семь

Here are all the llamas that I have seen so far. The rainbow llama won't be included in the stamp until I actually see it.

Here are the available badges and required number of llamas in order to get them:

Llama (1+)
Super Llama (10+)
Albino Llama (50+)
Super Albino (100+)
Ninja Llama (500+)
Fancy Llama (1000+)
King Llama (2500+)
Spartan Llama (5000+)
Wizard Llama (7500+)
The Golden Llama (10000+)
Rainbow Llama (unavailable or top secret)

@темы: Real life

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Еще один поводковый арт - Абрахам Хеллсинг

Вот уж я прямо не знаю...Странный у меня Абрахам получился. ООС-ный такой. Совсем не похож на того, кого я представляла. Однако когда из-под моего пера ( простите за лиричность, но на планшете я рисую пером XD ) вышла эта шрамированная рожа, мне она неожиданно понравилась. Мне даже стал интересен именно такой Абрахам. А вы что думаете?

Abraham Hellsing by ~AlexChatte on deviantART

@темы: Leashed Darkness, Hellsing

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Б***ский, откровенно б**дский Абрахам Хеллсинг.

И я даже не знаю, что еще добавить. Парень не особо красив, и не так чтобы сильно похож на Хеллсинга Я не знаю, почему меня цепляет эта фотография. Просто когда я представляю, что это тот самый вампирохантер из "Поводка", у меня мурашки по спине бегут...Кнута ему не хватает. Однозначно.

запись создана: 08.04.2010 в 19:05

Вопрос: Абрахам Хеллсинг - какой он по вашему?

1. Блондин, как все Хеллсинги		5	(45.45%)
2. Брюнет вроде Алукарда.		1	(9.09%)
3. Шатен, ну или темно-русый.		3	(27.27%)
4. И вообще он старый и седой		2	(18.18%)
Всего:		11 Всего проголосовало: 11

@темы: Leashed Darkness, Hellsing

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Surprises

Юмористический высокорейтинговый яой. Первый раз читаю такое.. Интересный у автора стиль. Алукард/Пип конечно же.

www.fanfiction.net/s/4111807/1/Surprises

Hello! This is my first Hellsing fic so please enjoy! I thought there ought to be more Alucard x Pip pairings in the world so I decided to dedicate this piece to them. : )

I hope you enjoy and I am so sorry, I tried to do Pip's accent and I think it went a little bit wrong. It just doesn't seem right otherwise! I hope you can understand it and you don't find the phonetic spelling too horrific.

Pleeaaase review!! If you do I will be forever in your debt and love you always...pretty please: )

Anyway, enjoy!

I in no way hold any rights over Hellsing or any of its characters, if I did Alucard and Anderson would do WAY more than just fight...he he he...

xXx

Pip Bernandette was terrified, or, to more eloquently put it really, really fucking scared.

He was going to get jumped by a vampire.

A bloody vampire!

It wouldn't have been as bad if it was that cute Seras Victoria girl after him. Hell, it probably would have been him chasing her, not the other way around. She had that sweet timid look about her (not to mention absolutely humungous breasts) and from just looking at her you would never guess that she was in fact of the vampiric persuasion, she was simply way too cute! People like her don't go around eating people! (Well apparently they did but Pip was happily blocking out that fact at this current point.)

But no. There was no beautiful big-breasted vampirina for Pip. He had got the other one.

Yes, that was it, Pip Bernandette was being chased by an excessively horny Alucard, and it had taken all of his skills as a mercenary for his pants to remain on so far.

Bloody Alucard...

It wasn't that the guy was bad looking, quite the reverse in fact. Pip was a pretty easy guy when it came to sex and normally the prospect of sleeping with someone with looks like Alucard's would've seemed pretty tempting, but that was the problem.

Alucard was Alucard, complete with all of his wonderful personality quirks (if you consider being the most blood-thirsty guy in the whole of bloody England a 'quirk').

The prospect of actually sleeping with the guy terrified him! Just look at those teeth! Hell, what was to say if he put his cock in the vampire's mouth he wouldn't bloody bite the thing off! Pip shuddered at the thought.

Alucard had been in hot pursuit of Pip for the last two-hours, at intervals shouting out exactly what he was going to do to the petrified mercenary the moment he got his hands on him, regardless of what the other occupants of the Hellsing Manor might think.

This was why Pip was currently hiding behind a corner in a reasonably unused corridor, hoping, no, praying, that Alucard would simply give up and go back to doing whatever vampires do to occupy themselves when they had free time.

Like that would ever happen.

This was Alucard.

There was an ominous breaking noise from the end of the corridor, sounded like something, a vase or something, had been knocked over and smashed when someone had walked past it.

A definite signal of an impending Alucard.

Pip readied himself. Getting himself in a position where he could easily run in the opposite direction he raised his gun, aimed it at where he thought Alucard would come into range, and waited.

It wasn't like he was seriously out to hurt the vampire, hell, if this was the only way to escape the attentions of a waay overexcited Alucard than so be it. He had seen how the guy could bounce back after being blown to bits so he supposed his measly shots would only slow him down enough for Pip to make a speedy getaway. Perfect! Pip's trousers would remain securely in place and everyone would be happy (well, not including Alucard).

Pip smiled in satisfaction at his plan, still pointing his gun at the turn in the corridor where Alucard would soon come into vision.

That was when he heard the smug voice behind him.

"Waiting for someone, Mr Bernandette?"

Pip almost fired his gun in shock.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

The bastard was behind him! Shit! The bloody vase must have been a ploy to bet him to focus his attention elsewhere whilst Alucard, the sneaky bastard, snuck up behind him!

This was a baaaad situation, he was beginning to fear for the safety of his nether regions.

He might just be able to turn it around though...

Planning to whip around and land Alucard a heavy blow with his gun, therefore leaving the vampire dazed and Pip free to run to the hills, Pip raised his weapon in preparation...only to have all hope of escape dashed from him as he watched, as if in slow motion, one of Alucard's gloved hands move around him and carelessly knock the heavy gun to the floor, then feel strong arms wrap around him.

Oh dear...Pip thought he needed to rethink his escape plan.

Alucard was now rather too close for comfort Pip, his back was being crushed into the vampire's chest and...certain...parts...of Alucard were now distressingly pressing into Pip in all the wrong places.

Alucard's cool breath whispered across Pip's exposed ear.

"Why Mr Bernandette," the vampire began, satisfied amusement dripping from the words, "not trying to run away now, are we?"

Alucard's words were punctuated by him beginning to slowly grind his now obviously aroused member into Pip, eliciting a whimper from the recipient of these attentions.

Now this was a tight situation. Pip was going to need to do some serious fast talking in order to get out of this one.

Desperately trying to ignore ministrations the vampire was now lavishing upon him Pip nervously began to speak.

"Look, Alucard", he started "zorry 'bout zat, you crept up on me and I was, you know, a leettle bit shocked. No 'ard feelings, eh?"

No reply. Alucard only continued with his pressing into Pip only now he had allowed his hands to wonder, something Pip wasn't exactly ecstatic about.

Desperately trying to find a way out of this situation as quickly as possible, Pip somewhat hurriedly continued.

"Anyway anyway, I know you are a busy man zo I'd better be off, you know", Pip grinned desperately, realising how futile his attempt was while he spoke "I'm sure you 'ave things do zo I wont get in your way".

Pip attempted to take a step forward yet was held firmly in place by Alucard's arms still wrapped around him.

Merde...

A laugh sounded behind him and Pip felt strong fingers affectionately comb through his hair.

"It is really no trouble, Mr Bernandette, I haven't been issued a mission for months and I can't think of a better way to occupy my time than with you as I am now," he paused, "or rather" the vampire continued, his voice now laced with unconcealed lust, "how we will be occupying it later, I mean"

It was going to be an interesting experience for Pip.

Alucard liked it rough.

Slamming Pip backwards into the wall the vampire began to ravage the mercenary's mouth, slipping a nimble tongue between the man's reluctant lips when he cried out in shock, effectively silencing the sound.

Pip almost spluttered when the invading tongue moved against his own, shocked at the electric sensations it caused to run through him. Who knew Alucard was such a good kisser? The vampire's tongue was certainly longue enough, the realisation of this causing Pip to clamp down on his overactive imagination already filling his mind with various uses that dexterous organ could be put to. There was no way he was letting that mouth anywhere near there... well, at least for now, that was.

Alucard seemed to be growing impatient with just kissing, his hands once again skimming across the mercenary's clothed body, moving across his chest then taking a definite southward route to a stunned Pip's groin, promptly beginning to move against the concealed organ, pressing and massaging against it.

Pip moaned at the sensation, feeling himself harden beneath Alucard's skilled hands as the vampire continued to press against the clothed organ, Alucard's own erection painfully obvious within his own clothing.

Feeling cool hands working at is belt Pip could only lean against the man in front of him for support, breathing deeply, as strong hands freed him of his jeans and grasped his aching length, pumping harshly, causing the organ to become even harder and a small amount of pearly pre-cum to form at the tip.

Although Pip's thoughts were pretty much incoherent now, he did have enough rationality left to wonder whether he should be returning the favour to Alucard, well aware of Alucard's as of yet untended arousal. However, the thought was shoved out of his head when he was roughly whipped around (Alucard's hand swiftly removed from his cock)and forced against the wall, chest pressing against it, while the vampire behind him lavished kisses and gentle nips (yet not gentle enough not to be worrying) on Pip's shoulders and neck.

This was when Pip felt Alucard's fingers at his mouth which were instantly pushed into that warm cavern without waiting for any sign of admittance. Pip almost choked on the long digits as they coated themselves in his moisture.

Pip was in a state of shock. He was actually enjoying this. Really, really enjoying this. His painfully hard cock gave even throbbed at the very though of what was going to happen next. Hell, Pip, thought, it might even be good, you never know until you try, and Pip liked surprises.

After removing the digits from the now Panting Pip, Alucard paused for a moment , apparently thinking, then swiftly forcing several fingers into the mercenary's tight unprepared entrance simultaneously, causing the man to growl a pained "Zteady on! Zat 'urt! ".

The vampire let out a low laugh in reply, making the small hairs on the back of Pip's neck stand on end (yes, that is the effect of Alucard's laughter).

Alucard leaned in close to Pip's ear.

"Well, mercenary," the words were dripping with dark amusement," I simply thought that a man of your calibre would have been able to deal with a little pain." The vampire let out a laugh. "You have lost an eye after all so I imagined that a meagre thing like this would have been nothing. I was wrong, it seems."

While speaking the vampire had begun to slowly pump the digits in and out of the mercenary, causing Pip to grit his teeth and bite back a curse.

So, Alucard was going to mock him, was he? Hell, Pip thought ANYONE would have been a little shocked if they suddenly had two fingers rammed into them with no warning, so it was fair to say Alucard was being a bit of a sadistic prick.

Well, Pip was going to show that vampire just how accommodating he could be...

"Oh, I'm zorry," he began innocently "you juzt caught me a leetle of guard, zat's all. Now..." Pip lowered his voice seductively and turned his head to be able to look the vampire in the eyes. "Why don't you 'urry up with zat zo we can get down to some real action." He paused. "Or don't you zink you are up to eet, eh?"

Alucard met the challenge with an amused raised eyebrow, somewhere during the speech having managed to release his arousal, shocking Pip with the size of it.

"Really Mr Bernandette..."the vampire worded, as if savouring every syllable "I think you'll find me quite up to the challenge, as you put it, I just hope you can keep up with me, that's all", a dangerously innocent smile forming on his features as he positioned his arousal at the mercenary's opening.

Pip was about to cockily reply to the vampire when his words were forced out of him in a strangled yell, Alucard having suddenly plunged into the mercenary to the hilt, abused entrance stretching around the invading member.

Alucard nuzzled into Bernandette's honey blond hair, breathing in his rich musky scent, moaning deeply and marvelling at how wonderfully tight Pip was, pleasure shooting from his cock at being so deliciously gripped.

Pip gasped in pain, trying to force himself to become accustomed to having Alucard sheathed within him, anything to try and dull the searing pain currently running in electric pulses throughout his body. Thankfully Alucard had been considerate enough to at least pause while Pip grew used to the intrusion, this was easier said than done on the vampire's part however as his instinct was to roughly pound into Pip's warm body, something which he only managed to restrain himself from doing by sheer will power.

It was only when Pip began to move against Alucard, pushing and grinding against him, trying to get Alucard in deeper, always deeper that the vampire stopped holding himself back.

Roughly grabbing the mercenary's straining arousal and pumping it harshly the vampire began to relentlessly thrust in and out of the man before him, sometimes grinding deeply other times pulling out almost completely to slam back into that tight hot body.

Pip was finding it hard to cope with all the sensations he was being dealt with. He'd never had it like this before. When Pip had had sex on past occasions it always been soft and tender, something which Pip the paid killer found hard to deal with.

This was real. This was rough and hard and oh so alive (even if one of the participants was, technically, dead) and it caused Pip to shudder and moan from the sheer reality of it, the sensation of being pressed up against the cold stone wall, the slick sensuousness of the member sliding in and out of him, hitting against that oh so special spot inside Pip again and again, how Alucard's hand mercilessly pumped his straining length, causing Pip to shiver and write under the heated touch.

Fuck it was hot...even Alucard seemed to have trouble coping.

The vampire's teeth seemed to have lengthened slightly, his eyes closed in ecstasy growling deeply as he quickened his pace thrusting harder, deeper and faster into Pip.

Pip let out a pleasure filled moan at the extra stimulation, heat pooling in his stomach he wasn't going to last long.

"A-Al-llucard...",he managed to utter, voice husky from sex "I...I'm going to-" words as his head was pulled to the side and lips captured in a predatory kiss, thrusts becoming harder and more erratic, finally pushing Bernandette over the edge.

Coming with a pleasured shout Pip spilled himself over the vampire's hand, simultaneously clamping down on his lover's cock still deep within him.

This was too much for Alucard. Yell echoing Pip's he released deep within the mercenary, still pumping in and out of the man until completely spent.

Pulling out, exhausted, Alucard yanked Pip into a rough embrace where they slowly slipped to the floor, arms still entwined, foreheads touching, as they tried to reclaim some of their lost stamina on the floor of that lonely corridor.

They remained that way for some time, both panting and in a state of pleasure filled haze.

This didn't last too long, however.

The couple were suddenly pulled out of their tender moment by a scream emanating from the end of the corridor, where a horror filled Integra gawped at her two subordinates still in various states of undress.

Pip felt Alucard seize up beside him.

Life at Hellsing Manor had suddenly become more interesting.

xXx

What do you think? I found this piece really enjoyable to write (I love Pip's personality) and I hope it shows in the writing.

Oh, another thing.

To put Pip with the French accent or without the French accent. I found it wierd without it 'cus I'm so used to French Pip but then I'm not so sure about it in a fic so you'll have to give me your opinions on that also.

Hope you enjoyed, Merkswinter.

Yodel xxxx

@темы: Humor, Hellsing, yaoi, Fanfiction

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Это феерично. Я тяжело понимаю Интегру.

Осторожно, очень много, ну ооочень много картинок, но оно того стоит. Русский фансаб. Бессмысленный и беспощадный
www.liveinternet.ru/community/anime_manga/post1...

@темы: Humor

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Алукард учит Серас летать.

Я просто не могла его не взять в свою коллекцию. Это что-то.

Flight

Flight
www.fanfiction.net/s/4559592/1/Flight

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: PG-13

Authoress note: Short and pointless.

\/ /\ \/ /\

Flight

Seras had been confused when her master had all out pulled her into one of Hellsing's helicopters. But her confusion had faded very quickly, after all it was master. A helicopter was hardly the worst thing he could do. She watched with a pleasant anticipation as England fell below the clouds and wondered what kind of mission this would be.

Alucard rather skilfully for once managed to evade her questions. That had put her on edge slightly, not the fact that he refused to answer he questions for that was the norm for when he was in a 'funny' mood. But rather what put her on edge was the fact he had evaded her questions skilfully, without insult or blatant refusal. He had simply skirted the topic. Seras had a sudden image of him as he must have been when mortal and a Prince, in halls evading great arguments from his people, twisting words to always come out on top. Apparently it was a skill he had not lost, but rather simply one he choose to ignore.

"Master this is getting silly." She huffed after the helicopter had climbed for a long time. Alucard simply ignored her and looked out the window before standing. She watched him as he walked to the pilot and tapped his shoulder. The mortal man jumped and the Helicopter jerked wildly in the air. Seras swallowed a scream. She hated heights. The mortal regained control and the motion stopped, Alucard grinned and nodded to the pilot before turning back to his fledgling.

"Police girl." He grinned, Seras suddenly felt very frightened. "Apparently Integra is tired of having me 'mope' around the manner and has insisted that I put my time to a productive and worthwhile pursuit." He shivered "her words not mine."

"Master?" Seras winced when he flicked off her seat belt.

"So I thought to myself, what do i find worthwhile." He grinned wider and picked her up "and what's more, what is productive."

"What are you doing?" Seras screeched clinging to him as he kicked the helicopter's side door open.

"Teaching." He smiled and let go of her. Turning to the pilot who had just watched him drop a screaming girl out of a very, very high helicopter the master vampire waved "flight was always my favourite," he admitted before toppling out and after his fledgling.

Chapter Two

{Seras}

Master was most defiantly not a good teacher.

He was in fact probably the worst teacher in the history of the world ever. EVER.

His philosophy was to teach by having his student experience what he was trying to show them. Basically he thought she would learn better by being thrown in at the deep end and left to drown; rather than careful explanation. His methods followed this theory quiet closely and normally this might have worked. After all teaching for example guitar would be almost impossible without the student actually having a go on a guitar. But Alucard did not teach guitar, he was trying to teach her to fly.

The result was him hurtling her out of a helicopter.

"Flight was always my favourite." His words echoed back to her. She wasn't sure how she remembered them when the ground had been coming up at her so very suddenly, but she did. They had fallen together for a while; he had smiled at her and reached out to hold her hand. For a moment the fear had gone away and she had smiled back at him and laughed at the adrenaline rushing through her. It had been a rush.

"Feel this." His words echoed in her mind followed by what felt like a hand. A hand that touched gently over parts of her mind and when they touched her something in her switched on. Her fall slowed, her body bent and twisted, and suddenly it felt like the air was water. She could move up or down at will, moving in any direction. It was amazing.

She was flying!

She laughed aloud and moved her arms like she would were she in water. Alucard sniggered at her and shook his head.

"It is a matter of will, not movement." He said grinning and twisted in the air. His limbs did not push or pull at the air but still he moved. She tried to copy him and ended up upside down and stuck. She was to exhilarated to care though and she laughed with him as he turned her the right way up.

"This is wonderful!" she said grinning at him, about to thank him for teaching her something good for once, something that made the sacrifice of her humanity almost worthwhile. But the hand in her mind chose that moment to withdraw. Her body stopped whatever it was doing to keep her up and she started to fall again.

"Hold yourself." He said falling next to her,

"What! How?" she screamed at him terrified again.

"I've already shown you and I'm not going to help you anymore." He said grinning and suddenly stopped falling. She watched through tear filled eyes as he stayed put in the air as if stood on the ground, while she continued to plummet.

She did not save herself.

Alucard's plan had not worked. If he had been true to his word she would have been a Seras-splatter somewhere in Cornwall. But he had caught her moments before she struck the earth, he had been disappointed and she had gone into a vampiric version of shock and passed out.

That had been two weeks ago. The last two weeks had been bloody awful, and now she was a nervous wreck. After the first failed attempt Alucard was still trying to get her natural flight instincts to kick in and was constantly pushing her off of anything higher than ten feet. Had she been human she would have been dead long ago. But even with her immortal constitution she was getting bruised and her nerves were shot. She was shaking all the time and jumping at shadows.

So now she was making a stand.

Well telling tales was probably a better explanation of her actions. She was running to Integra, she was the only person who could realistically make Alucard stop. Seras wanted to learn to fly but she was never going to get there this way, she knew her own limits and being lobbed out of windows was way past it.

"Yes." Integra called as she knocked on the door. "Oh, Seras." Integra looked surprised to see the young vampire. "What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Well actually." Seras swallowed suddenly feeling very foolish "well its master." Integra sighed and put her pen down.

"What has he done now?" she asked with a weariness that almost made Seras smile. Integra was more than used to Alucard's shenanigans.

"He's trying to teach me to fly." Seras breathed, Integra looked blank.

"Surely this is a good thing." She said after a moment, "Flight doesn't sound too horrendous, compared to what he could be doing."

"He dropped me out of a helicopter." Seras growled "and has since then thrown me out of eight windows, off two rooftops and out of a car going over a bridge."

"Oh." Was Integra's only response. The air moved strangely suddenly and Seras winced as did Integra. Alucard was coming.

"What do you want?" Integra sighed as Alucard entered the room through the wall next to the door.

"My ears were burning." He answered and Seras felt herself blush hotly.

"Well you are not wanted just yet but I will be having words with you later." Integra sighed. Trust Alucard to screw everything up, she was quiet pleased with herself for ordering to do something productive. He had been quiet now for days, but now she learnt that that was because he had spent those days throwing Seras off of roof tops and out of helicopters.

"Then I will return." He turned as if to go and for a moment Integra really believed that he was going to leave. She was amazed; he almost never obeyed an order without some kind of remark or petulant action. Perhaps he was ill?

But no he was not ill.

He had spotted a window; and with movement faster than any mortal he had turned and lifted his fledgling. They were beside the window before Integra had put her pen down. The window was open before she had drawn in air to shout him into stopping and Seras was pitched out of the window before the first syllable had left her mouth.

"STOP THROWING YOUR FLEDGLING OUT OF WINDOWS YOU LUNATIC!!!"

@темы: Humor, Hellsing, Fanfiction

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Get It Up (Alucard/Pip) Romantic fiction

А это видео, благодаря которому появился фик.( никакого намека на яой) Ржачное, когда доходит смысл песни

Get It Up

www.fanfiction.net/s/5687788/1/Get_It_UpGet It Up reviews
Alucard's fingertips were still holding the cigarette. Pip bit down stubbornly on the filter:: Whilst on the streets of Rio de Janeiro, Pip ends up kissing a bastard of a vampire who keeps stealing all of his cigarettes. AxP, canon.

The smoke from Pip's cigarette curled around his gloved fingers like a ribbon as he walked, twisting in the dark of the new moon night.

"So."

His lip twitched, and he glanced out of the corner of his eye at the shadowy shape that had materialized next to him, right out of the thick, sticky air. Tall and thin and lanky, and for once not topped off by the floppy red hat, Alucard had apparently had the urge to join him for a walk, and had left his coat home. Pip took another drag on the cigarette, exhaling a smoke stream in a slow, heavy sigh.

"What?"

Silence greeted him, but Pip could tell that Alucard was smiling; he didn't know how, he just did. Maybe it was the glint of razor-sharp teeth, despite the absence of light. Pip didn't know, nor did he care. He would've said something to break the horrid silence in the suffocating heat of South America, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

Out of habit, Pip shut his mind and opened his ears. It was slightly disturbing to only hear one set of footsteps--his own--when he knew there were two people walking there, but he managed to shrug it off, reminding himself again that this Dracula, this Alucard--and oh, how clever, Pip realized with a snort of derisive laughter, that his name should simply be dracula in reverse--could not be expected to act human.

"What's so funny, human?"

"Nothing," Pip chuckled, tossing his cigarette to the ground and grinding it out with the toe of his boot as he stepped on it. "Can't expect you to understand."

Pip could sense the smile once more, and Alucard laughed quietly. A hand, just a bit chilly, but not unpleasantly so, came to rest on the back of his neck, a thumb pressing gently into the ridge of bone behind his ear. Pip shivered. The hand dropped. He shivered again, and wondered just why he missed the weight of those fingers on his skin.

"Hey," a voice called, female and hoarse, like she'd been chain-smoking for twenty years straight. She continued, in Portuguese, and Pip caught sight of several scantily-clad prostitutes lounging on the stone steps of a large brick building, one of whom had sauntered down to the edge of the street, cocking a hip out as she spit the language at Pip and- no, not at Alucard, because as Pip looked over, he saw that Alucard was gone.

He passed the woman, muttering something half-heartedly out of the corner of his mouth; her lip curled and she turned back to the steps, complaining loudly to the rest of the girls. And, of course, as soon as Pip was out of the prostitutes' sight, Alucard was back, just a small whoosh of smoke and shadows and suddenly, strangely, there were two sets of footsteps. Pip wondered briefly what it felt like to pull yourself into existence, to just manifest from the very darkness around yourself.

"So."

"What?" Pip sighed, knowing he wasn't going to like what Alucard said, no matter what he said. So he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, thankful that Alucard was on his right side. He hated not being able to see the people he was talking to.

"Why'd you turn her down?" Alucard's voice was quiet, amused, but it couldn't have hit Pip harder. His fingers clenched tight around the pack of cigarettes and the cold metal lighter in his pockets, and a tiny, hard, half-smile came over his lips.

Oh well, Pip thought, and took out a semi-crushed cigarette. The flame of the lighter was overly bright in the darkness, in Alucard's shadow--Pip pondered asking Alucard how he had a shadow when it was three a.m. and the moon wasn't even out--that stretched across the pavement in front of them. Oh well.

"I have my reasons."

Alucard nodded patronizingly, and reached out to snag the cigarette from Pip's mouth. He took a long drag, blowing out a series of smoke rings, and then slipped it back between the mercenary's lips. Pip brought a hand up to steady it as he readjusted the thin stick. He had always wondered what Alucard tasted like, and was fascinated to find that it was like ice-cold water, the kind of drink where the taste is indescribable, even though you know it has one. When you know it has a taste, a really delicious one.

"I'm sure you do."

Another series of smoke rings drifted through the air in front of them, this time from Pip.

"I wonder why I feel the need to explain anything to you."

"Can't help you there," Alucard sighed.

"Hm," Pip mused. "Are you saying that you can help me in other ways?"

"Depends."

"On?"

Alucard shrugged, "A lot."

"Like what?" Pip pressed. Fuck it, he thought, realizing that he was digging his own grave there. I'm screwed either way. And the look on Alucard's face was worth it, too. One arched eyebrow, the sly smile again, and as his fingertips closed on the cigarette again, Pip stopped, reaching up and catching the Midian's wrist. He knew he wasn't in control; if he wanted to, Alucard could rip his jaw off, crush his fingers to a pulp, and Pip Bernadotte would be no more.

They stood, immobile, for several long, tense, seconds. Faced like dancers in a waltz, Pip's fingers were still locked around Alucard's wrist, and Alucard's fingertips were still holding the cigarette. Pip bit down stubbornly on the filter. Alucard raised an eyebrow again.

With that, one single, tiny motion, Pip felt the last vestiges of willpower he had disappear. With a quiet groan, he pulled Alucard's hand away from his mouth and stepped forwards. He was a bit mystified as to why his heart was beating so fast; he'd killed hundreds of men and yet never, not once, had his pulse pounded like this. Their lips met, feverish and fiery against calm and cool, and Pip was stuck between submitting to his insanity and doing the smart thing: Pulling away.

He didn't do the smart thing, but, then again, he never did the smart thing. Instead, he stepped forward again, pressing himself close and fisting his fingers in Alucard's hair and feeling long fingers come to rest on his hips, the vampire's grip tight through the dusty old coat. The midian was just like the taste that lingered on the cigarette before, only stronger now: Fresh and sharp and sweet and indescribable. Pip felt a tooth prick his lower lip, and as the blood welled up to meet the air, he felt Alucard pull back, lips hovering infinitesimally far away. Fingers held his chin in place when he went to lean in again, and Pip felt a tongue ghost across the wound, lapping up the blood.

Pip shivered, a quick tremor down his spine, and took a deep breath. He needed his bravado back, needed his flash and banter, needed, oh wait, there it was, for his mouth was opening and his lips were smirking and his fingers were wrapping around Alucard's wrist again. And was that really his voice saying that, really Pip, really, that's the best you can do right now?

"What's the matter?" he asked sarcastically, fingers wrapping and lips smirking and one eye half-closed. "Can't get it up?"

To his surprise, Alucard just laughed and leaned in and flicked his tongue over the wound again. Pip flinched involuntarity; it stung a bit, being deeper than he thought. The fingers fell from his chin, and Alucard stepped back, walking off and and shooting a look over his shoulder. It was an unspoken assumption that Pip would follow.

Amazing, he thought to himself, jogging a bit to catch up to Alucard. Pip Bernadotte, mercenary extraordinaire, is now completely whipped.

"You're bleeding, idiot," Alucard said finally. "And I sincerely doubt you're a virgin. I'd hate to see you end up as a zombie."

"How sweet," Pip snorted, joking but not joking because they never would be sweet. They, if there was going to be a 'they,' would always be fierce kisses in Rio de Janiero streets on new moon nights, where Pip would bleed and Alucard would do something strange and they'd crack a joke because neither of them really knew what to do.

"Your brains would leave a stubborn stain on the carpet, I think."

"Of course." Pip lit up another cigarette, holding it out of Alucard's reach. "It would be my stain, would it not?"

Alucard put a hand on his neck again, and pulled him in for another kiss, shorter and softer, and Pip felt the cigarette disappear from between his fingers.

"Of course it would," Alucard breathed, tongue lapping up a fresh drop of blood, and Pip had to stop himself from moaning. "Of course it would."

He smiled and took a drag on the cigarette, blowing smoke rings into the pitch black night, and Pip thought how ridiculous this all was: He was kissing a bastardly vampire who kept stealing his cigarettes in the middle of a street in Rio de Janiero. And then he remembered that he didn't care, and stole his cigarette back from Alucard.

запись создана: 06.04.2010 в 01:51

@темы: Hellsing, Video, yaoi, Fanfiction

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Поводковый арт и косплей с Девианта

Creating a Vampire by ~tchintchie on deviantART

Угадайте кто. Ну конечно Абрахам!

Угадайте кто. Ну конечно Абрахам!

abraham van hellsing the man by ~CaptainWerewolf on deviantART


abraham van hellsing by ~CaptainWerewolf on deviantART


Alucard, The Good Dog by ~Schingiuire on deviantART

@темы: Leashed Darkness, Hellsing, Art

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Не best, но пусть тоже тут будет. Уж очень редки они.

Blame the Sex Beam

Blame the Sex Beam
R for profanity, sex (manual and oral), alcohol
community.livejournal.com/hellsing/483115.html

If you’re going to keep badgering me about it, I’ll tell. But not one word to the other geese! Or...and that’s no idle threat.
Once. That night we were in Rio de Janeiro.

But it wasn’t my choice at all! See, Alucard’s got these freakish mind-control powers. I’ve heard about it; he’ll be fighting and get bored or whatever, and the guy’s he’s been fighting with line up and let him put his gun in their mouths...
Hhm? What’s so funny?
... no, that’s NOT how it happened! ... you finished? ... Okay.

We were just checking into Rio Hotel. Mr. Alucard was trying to get the concierge to let us take the coffins to the top floor. Funny about this concierge, from a distance he looked like a guy, no question, but the closer you got the more girly he looked. At least, I think it was a guy. No tits. Anyway.

I’ve got my hands full with the porters, ‘cause the idiots thought it’d be a good idea to take both coffins in through the elevator door at once. I’m watching them bump into each other and cuss, when I feel this kind of tingle on my back.
... no, not animal magnetism, smartass. It was the sex beam! ...no, listen.

I steal a look at the concierge, and he’s got this LOOK. Like’s he’s utterly transported by what he’s seeing. Like he’s watching porn for the first time. And there’s Alucard, posing like he thinks he’s David Copperfield or some shit. You know, the magician. He reaches out his hand and kinda... caresses the kid’s face.

When Alucard’s finger touches his lips, the kid starts sweating buckets. Not that we all weren’t sweating like pig-dogs the whole day – even with it being winter down there, the place was a sauna, and all of use in starched-up shirts and suits were sweltering. Except Alucard, the cold-blooded bastard.

So Alucard’s petting the kid all kinky-weird, and the kid’s just eating it up. His mouth is hanging open, and I’m thinking “If that she-male starts sucking on Alucard’s fingers, so help me, I’m going straight to that top-floor suite and jumping off the balcony.” But no such thing.
Alucard takes his hand away, all slow, and the kid says “No problem. None at all.” There he is, grinning vacantly and looking cool as a fucking Speedstick Salesperson.

Alucard says something to me and I make this big show of turning around, like I didn’t just see the whole business. Funny thing was, I’d started sweating as hard as the kid. Must’ve gotten hit by stray sex-beam radiation. Or maybe I was already wondering if Policegirl’s got the sex-beam powers too. God knows I’ve thought about that a million times since.

Things are normal when we get to the suite. Alucard’s going on about coffins and death and shit – no, really, that’s as normal as this bloke gets. I’m starting to think I imagined the whole scene downstairs, when I tell him – here, what I said exactly was “I’ll come get you in the evening.” And he says “Oh, I can hardly wait.”

Plain enough, right? Could mean anything, right? But if you’d seen the look he gave me when he said it – I should have known right then.
Then he says “Looks like it’ll be FUN, this place”, with that leer of his aimed right at me, and I decide I’ve had enough creepiness for one day and get the hell out.

By now it’s getting towards evening, so I go down to the hotel bar and knock back a few drinks. Good stuff, too, ‘cause Her Majesty was picking up the bill. We weren’t expecting any surprises, and since we thought the trip would weaken Miss Victoria we were given the first night and day to recuperate. I intended to spend it boozing.

There was a classy-looking brunette at the end of the bar, so I introduce myself and ask to buy her a drink. She accepts, and we get along great til she’s finished her fourth drink on my tab, excuses herself for the restroom, and never comes back. Probably gave herself the runs from too much rum. Lush.

I wasn’t feeling too up to socializing at this point, with trip fatigue and jet lag and all, so I decide to go back to the room and see if Her Majesty’ll pay for Pay-Per-View.
I’m surprised to see Alucard up and about. He’s dressed in his usual clothes again, heavy coat and all, and staring out the window.

Something’s up. He’s tense as a guitar string, and there’s an eager look in his eyes.
As I come in the room he gives me a glance of acknowledgement and goes pacing a track across the carpet that he’s obviously covered dozens of times already. Here’s energy looking for an outlet.

One of my men gets that look, I slip him K-Y and vacate the premises. But I don’t know what’s making Alucard so anxious at this point, so I put it out of mind and gesture at the police girl’s coffin. He gives a half-nod to say “Yep, still in there,” so I wish him good night and go to my room. Holy mother of God, borgeois as the rest of the place!

A quick survey shows everything to satisfaction. Nice big tv, at a good angle to the bed – or failing that, deep cushy carpet.
But first things first. I lock the door.
I shrug off my jacket and crawl out of the god-awful scotchguard-stiff pants. Then it’s a quick trip to the bathroom for... er, supplies.

When I come back Alucard’s in my room.

He didn’t unlock the door – no need. First time I ever saw him he walked through a wall, so I’m not surprised. No more surprised than anyone would be to find themself sharing a room with a business accquaintance right before one of their most private moments. And me in shirt and boxers, toilet paper in the one hand and lube in the other, looking like the world’s biggest chatch.

In true chatch form I say “Oh, excuse me,” somehow still thinking maybe he just over-paced one of his circuits and ended up in my room by accident, and he’s about to leave.
Only he doesn’t leave.

He walks over all smooth-like and takes off my eye patch. Weird thing to do, eh? I’ve thought about it some, and here’s what I’ve come up with. Alucard’s a guy who gets off on violence. And he also gets off on the fact that he’s so powerful, violence doesn’t affect him. Someone pops out his eye, he leaves it hanging out for five minutes, just for shits and giggles, then grows himself a new one. I guess he got a kick out of seeing what violence does to a normal bloke.

He reaches over, takes the toilet paper out of my right hand, and drops it. Out of the corner of my eye I see it go unrolling under the bed. He takes the bottle and drops that too, and I don’t even hear it fall into the carpet. He undoes the top button of my shirt and lays his mouth between my collarbones.

Right now is when I should’ve shouted “Get your filthy mouth off me, I like pussy!” But he’s hypnotized me with that sex-beam! I stood there the whole time going “No problem. None at all”, while he unbuttons my shirt and kisses his way down my chest. He puts the last kiss just below my navel and goes for my neck.
... No, he didn’t bite me. I’m here talking to you now, aren’t I?

Here’s where I almost come to my senses, ‘cause it’s a bad idea to let a vampire nibble on your neck, no matter if it’s some bloke or a curvy nubile girl.
That gets me thinking about curvy nubile girls, in particular one curvy nubile vampire girl asleep in the next room, and I swear, from then on it was like she was the one doing it to me. Her hands on my hips, her tongue on my nipples, her mouth on my cock. Right up until the sweet finish.

How was it? It was another GUY, for chrissake, what do you think?
... okay, taking into account the sex-beam and the police-girl fantasy... best head I’ve ever got. I guess you pick up a few tricks when you’ve lived one hundred plus years... or maybe he was using mind-reading powers. Wish he’d give lessons to some of the girl’s I’ve known.

So I’m feeling good at this point, not suspecting what’ll come next. I figure I’ve just been reaping good karma from spending so much on that lush by the bar. But then he starts to unbutton.

Now, I’m about to tell him I’d rather die than do it to another guy, when I see that his lip’s kinda curled up and his special-issue equipment up THERE is ready for action too, if you follow me – so it looks like that’s the choice I’m being given.

It was easier than I’d thought. Not that I’d ever thought about it, mind you, but I’m just a quick-to-learn kind of guy.

... What, you want to know about his endowments? Believe what you will, I’ve black out the whole traumatic experience.

I’m thinking I’m going to get through this with some shred of dignity intact, when his hand whips around, latches onto the back of my head, and pulls forward. Any other guy in existance tries this on me, I tear his arm off at the shoulder, y’know? But I try that with Alucard, his arm turns into a flock of bats and goes flying up my ass or some freaky shit like that. So I make like I’m beer-bonging homemade palm wine back in Uganda.

I’m gagging and trying not to spit on the carpet – ‘cause I knew I’d be the one who whould have to explain – and he just leaves. No “Sorry for getting homo-freaky on you”, no “Thanks for the great hand job,” no nothing. And he’s STILL got that tense look about him.

I’m up and backing away – and I do mean BACKING, in case he decides we’re not finished – but it looks like we are, ‘cause he disappears through the wall. Probably went back to staring out the window.

It seems like a good idea to go to bed, but I realize that while I’m still pretty drunk, I’m not NEAR drunk enough for what just happened. I check out the fridge, and behold! Kirin! Dunno what Japanese beer is doing in a Brazilian fridge – thank god for third-world economies, right? I go to see about that Pay-Per-View, but decide I’m not in the mood anymore. And on TV, nothing but soap operas in Portugese.

I’m flipping channels – ‘cause those Brazilian girls are hot, even if they’re overacting in Portugese – when this special news report comes on.
“Looks familiar, that building” I’m thinking. It’s the Rio Hotel. Fucking helicopter right outside our suite. So that’s what’s been eating Alucard all night!

Look, when the Geese get back from a special assignment, and their hepatitis tests start coming back positive, and they’re pretending like they’re not itching their crotches, I don’t ask where they picked it up. What happens in Rio, stays in Rio.

And I still blame the sex-beam.

@темы: Hellsing, yaoi, Fanfiction

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Еще один яойный фик Pip/Alucard (да-да именно в такой последовательности)

Beginnings

"Beginnings"
I'm not sure if the contest is still on, but in any case here's a fic just in case someone would like to read it.

Title: The Inevitability of Touch
Pairing: Pip x Alucard (mention of Pip x Seras het pairing)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Graphic yaoi sex, graphic language, dubious consent, a small amount of het and het sex, and it's unbeta'd.
Word Count: 2474

Cross-posted to rosehiptea
The Inevitability of Touch

The sheets were clean and felt like a smooth whiteness under his bare back. The coverlet was scratchy; they always were. It was a new place but in most ways it was the same as all the others: a combination of hope and hopelessness, full of empty rooms where dead soldiers had recently lived.

He had told his men that they would fight monsters, and this morning Sir Integral had told them most of what they needed to know. Monsters should be harder to kill than humans, but maybe they would be easier on the conscience. That vampire, or whatever the hell their enemy would be, hadn't woken up that morning and eaten breakfast and prayed to his gods to keep him safe in battle. Even mercenaries did trouble with a conscience, though Pip Bernadotte never bothered pointing that out to his employers.

The vampire girl was disturbing. She could have killed him with her fingertips, yet Pip had been unable to stop looking at her figure. And the boss, this woman knight, she was another mystery. What made her so determined to rid the world of vampires? And then there was the real power, the old vampire, the one even Hellsing couldn't really control. Pip might pride himself on fearing nothing but he wouldn't want to be on Alucard's bad side. But he was a mercenary, and used to fighting alongside people who frightened him more than the enemy.

Sleep didn't come easily, but Pip was trained. He would sleep when he had to just as he would wake when he wanted to. As he fell asleep, he heard a sound that reminded him of the old recordings his grandfather had kept but seldom listened to. It was difficult to discern the music or the words, but he was certain that this was some sultry French singer, inviting the listener to new pleasures. The sound was arousing to him, and he smiled slightly as he anticipated pleasant dreams.

There was skin under his fingertips, smooth and cool. He kissed a neck, licked a shoulder, stroked under an arm. The only sounds were his own breathing and a voice urging him to continue. His lover turned to face him then, and he ran his fingers down the smooth, hard, chest of a man.

Pip awoke then, still aroused and achingly hard. This made him feel confused and even slightly ashamed. After all, he didn't like men that way. He tried to shrug it off, telling himself that people dream about anything, especially when it comes to sex. It meant nothing. But he was confused. Why had he done something like that even in dreams?

There was a part of him that wished he could curl up under the covers and feel that flesh against his again, even if he had to pretend it was a woman instead. But he tried not to admit that. As he left the barracks he could have sworn that he heard that same song that had been in his head last night. This time he realized that the singer was not a woman but a man.

The day passed, and Pip's memory of his dream faded as he trained his men and baited the vampire girl. The exercises went so badly for everyone that Pip was almost regretting his contract. Even staring at that girl's chest might not be worth what could happen if they weren't prepared.

Pip asked Sir Integral and Walter both to try to keep Alucard away from the troops. His presence was a reminder that even the survivors of the upcoming battles were in danger. Pip didn't like him looming over them at the sidelines, his face pale and his black hair swirling around him. He looked odd in his old clothing, but even Pip didn't laugh at Alucard. Even if only a tiny fraction of the rumors about him were true, he had more power than even the Wild Geese could deal with. There was courage, and then there was accepting reality. But Alucard was on their side, at least now.

Returning to the barracks, Pip found the vampire himself standing by the path. Pip passed him with a nod of recognition and the vampire grinned and tossed his head back, his piercing stare making the almost flirtatious gesture threatening instead.

"Did you sleep well last night, Captain Bernadotte?" Alucard asked.

Rumors had been passed around among the men that vampires knew "mind control." Could that mean that he had seen Pip dreams, even influenced them? The red eyes reaching into his as Pip puzzled over how much he should admit.

"I always sleep well," he said finally. He tried to turn away but the eyes were holding him.

"Do you now?"

Pip felt a sensation like a finger being run up his spine. Now he knew the vampire was playing tricks. But it made his whole body tingle with warmth.

"I'm leaving, Alucard. Don't forget who guards your coffin."

Alucard laughed but turned his head away, and Pip went to his room. He could still feel the warmth Alucard's mental touch had given him. It was outrageous for Alucard to try to control his thoughts, and if it continued, Pip would make damn sure it stopped.

Flopping down on his bed, he gave into the lingering sensation a little and found himself hard again. Well, he had time now to do something about it.

"Why the hell would I be turned on from something a man did? I'm not after men. Well, he plays tricks; it's not my fault."

Lowering his trousers and shorts, Pip grasped his cock and began to stroke it. He thought, inevitably, of the young police girl. She was so pretty, and so easy to tease.

"Wouldn't it be good to have your cock pressed between those breasts?" He pictured just that as he rubbed his foreskin.

In his fantasies, the police girl was grinning at him, then going lower on his body.

"Yes, suck me..." he murmured to himself as her mouth closed around him.

He even imagined feeling her fangs as she moved her mouth on his shaft. He reached down for her disordered hair and suddnely realized that it was a mass of black curls. It was Alucard curling his long tongue around Pip. His tongue was rough, slightly cool, and felt like magic as he licked Pip's sac.

Pip tried to open his eyes but couldn't. He couldn't stop staring at Alucard's head and bare shoulders as the vampire, imaginary now or not, took his cock back into his hot, highly skilled mouth. Pip could feel Alucard's rough lips and the vampire took him deeper. Thrusting with his hips, Pip opened his mouth to demand he stop but found himself saying instead, "More!"

He felt a finger probe at his anus and slide in. It was form of pleasure that was almost pain, and it was too much for Pip. He body wrenched as he felt his orgasm, his come dripping onto his thighs as Pip opened his eyes and Alucard and his mouth disappeared.

"What the fuck was that? I didn't want him. He's doing something to my mind and I'm damned if I'll stand for it. No vampire's going to make me want to do it with men."

As he cleaned himself, he realized that he had only a few hours to nap before nighttime maneuvers. Any confrontation would unfortunately have to wait for tomorrow. Duty was first. And Alucard had probably gone back to his coffin anyway.

He forced himself to sleep, hoping that Alucard would not trouble him again. And his dream was not sexual, but it was odd. He was lying on green grass, feeling it against his back. It seemed like the world was spinning, and he clutched the grass as he heard a voice say:

"Are you strong enough, Captain Bernadotte?"

Pip was about to answer that he was strong enough for anything when he woke up.

The night maneuvers went well. Pip managed to get his men to operate the new weapons properly, and he almost stole a kiss from the police girl. The Wild Geese were starting to feel better about this job, and Pip was in a good mood when he headed to his barracks. He wanted to confront Alucard, but he wanted to bring more weapons than just a gun. But when he opened the door, Alucard was there waiting for him.

Pip didn't bother asking him how he had gotten in. He was beginning to think that Alucard could do absolutely anything. Walking to the bed where Alucard was sitting, Pip began to speak.

"You're a monster. You're a monster and you've been invading my dreams, and my daydreams too. You have no right to control my mind so that I end up having sex with you."

Alucard gave a thin-lipped smile.

"Actually, it wasn't mind control. I merely shifted the direction of your fantasies slightly."

"You made them something disgusting. I want you to leave me alone."

Alucard laughed. "Disgusting? You seemed to enjoy the way I sucked you."

"I wanted you to stop," Pip nearly shouted.

"Yet you didn't ask me to. I wonder why," mused Alucard.

"You made it so I couldn't! You controlled me."

"I already told you I didn't."

"Look," said Pip, exasperated. "Leave, right now, or I'll tell Sir Integral what you've been doing. They say you'll obey her, and she'll want you to stop."

Alucard stood now, and dropped his coat to the floor.

"Captain Bernadotte, can you honestly look at me, right now, and tell me you find me physically repulsive? Remember, I will know if you're lying."

Pip looked at Alucard, with his wild dark curls and nearly porcelain skin, his broad shoulders and long-fingered hands. There was no use lying.

"You're not repulsive," he muttered. "But that's not the point. You're a man."

"And vampires, as you know, can be highly sexual beings, and carry no diseases. There are advantages..."

Alucard leaned over and began to run his tongue down Pip's neck. Pip backed away to the wall, but Alucard didn't stop. He could hear his voice in his mind now, low and seductive.

"We are two strong men, Captain Bernadotte. Two strong men serving in the same place, with the same master. It's a difficult situation. We can fight, you know."

Pip had a vision of a short bloody battle ending with him dead and bleeding onto the grass.

"Or we can fuck."

At those words Pip's cock became erect again. He could feel Alucard stroking him through his trousers, and the French song was playing in his mind. He pressed against Alucard's touch, as his mind began presenting him with memories of skin, mouths, and bodies. When saw faces, they were of everyone from nameless men he had not touched to cheap whores that he had. Alucard was licking his neck, probing under his collar, then removing his shirt.

"You're controlling me..." he said.

"Nonsense. I'm merely tempting you."

Pip could bear this no longer. This was insane.

"All right, vampire, I damn well will."

He pushed Alucard's jacket off his shoulders, and watched while Alucard rid himself of his shirt and gloves. Pip leaned in and gave a small bite to Alucard's pale shoulder.

He couldn't understand what was happening. No one was controlling his movements and he had decided what he wanted of his own free will. But how could Alucard be what he wanted? It didn't matter now. Pip dropped his trousers and stood in front of Alucard naked.

Alucard leaned in, licking Pip's chest, moving slowly downward. Stray locks of hair brushed over Pip's cock. He was aching, now, and it was all Alucard's fault.

"Turn around," he said sharply.

The vampire nipped his belly and turned. Pip bent him over the bed. He didn't know why seeing Alucard's back and arse was making him even more eager but it was true. Alucard was handing him something now, a little bottle. Pip figured it out after a moment, spilled liquid onto his hand and rubbed Alucard's anus and his own erection with it.

He pressed his cock between the vampire's arse cheeks.

"You want this, do you?" He pushed his tip inside.

The deep reply of "Yes," was all it took to push Pip over the edge. He thrust into Alucard quickly and forcefully, wondering if he was hurting him but not really caring. This wasn't like fucking a woman, this was a man with hard muscles and deep groans and a hot arse that felt like it was drawing him in to thrust harder. Pip rocked his hips, feeling his muscles tighten.

Alucard reached back for Pip's hand then, and put it on his cock. Pip had never touched another man, and began exploring the warm skin with his hand. Alucard groaned then, and Pip responded by pulling at him almost roughly, using the touch Pip liked when he masturbated. He could feel a tremble in Alucard's thighs and in his own. Continuing to rub him, he thrust into him forcefully. In moment, he felt Alucard spill onto his hand.

Now he was standing there, buried in a man's arse with someone else's semen dripping from his fingers. Yet he didn't care, he didn't care at all. He leaned down, sucking at Alucard's skin, wishing he had fangs to bit him with.

He was shoving himself hard into Alucard now, wanting him to feel this deep inside, to know he had been fucked. Finally, Pip felt his balls tremble as he came, the tension in his muscles finally released.

He wasn't sure how to face what he had done, now. Turning away from Alucard, he began to throw his clothing on.

"Was it worth it, soldier?" Alucard asked. He was inexplicably fully dressed after one second.

Pip shook his head.

"If you go away and don't come after me again, it was worth it," he replied.

"You didn't enjoy it?"

"You apparently did," muttered Pip.

"Well. I will go away, and I will not come after you again, though I don't promise to limit my little explorations of your fantasies. I doubt you would really want to tell Sir Integral that you've been fucking her vampire and it isn't even the obvious one. But I think someday you will come after me, wanting to see what more I can do."

"Hell, no," replied Pip.

Alucard merely laughed.

"Dreams are odd things, but reality is better. You're lucky you won't ever be as old as I am, to have them blur together. Take care, Captain."

Alucard left, and Pip threw himself onto the stained bedspread with a groan. He knew now that even if Alucard left him alone, the memory of this night would haunt his dreams.

@темы: Hellsing, yaoi, Fanfiction

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Master is alive

А вот этот мне нравится набросок, хотя он занял минут 15-20. А вообще это сначала задумывалось как порно

Master is alive by ~AlexChatte on deviantART

Интервью Алукарда

- Алукардо-сама, а вам не бывает одиноко?
-Бывает.Ну вот убьешь человек 100, стоишь один среди трупов - и так одиноко делается!

-Алукардо-сама, а как вы относитесь к яою?
Честно говоря, я побаиваюсь отца Андерсона. У него взгляд такой…многообещающий.

-Алукардо сама, а зачем вам галстук?
-Когда становится совсем одиноко, и никто не хочет меня убить - я сам себя душу.

-Алукардо-сама, а вы никогда не говорите сам с собой?
-Нет, только с невидимыми друзьями и душами убитых.

- Алукардо-сама, а сэр Интеграл в детстве было трудно воспитывать? А вы ее укладывали спать и ей колыбельные пели? А какие? Расскажите какую-нибудь историю.
-Какие нафиг колыбельные?!?Я ее сначала ловил 1.5 часа, потом привязывал к кровати и глушил томиком «Трансильванских сказок»

Хирано: Я люблю компьютерные игры, особенно из серии Resident Evil. {Тааак, мои подозрения по поводу того, куда у него уходит время, подтвердились... Понятно, почему он все время твердит, что "занят". Чтобы пройти такие игрушки ой как много времени нужно... А он, наверно, еще и не по разу проходит...}

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Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра

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Loneliness.

It's hot these days, but now my cell suddenly feels cold.
Loneliness, I suppose.

Друзья мои, скажите мне -кто и как из вас относится к одиночеству. Что для вас это? бремя? необходимость? тягость или удовольствие? Насколько для вас важно присутствие людей в вашей жизни, в вашем доме? Когда вы идете в магазин за покупками, в спортзал или просто на прогулку? Это родные, близкие , друзья? Вы часто скучаете по кому-то, кого нет рядом? Или вас вполне устраивает пустая квартира и компьютер с безлимитным интернетом?
Говорю, потому что прихожу каждый раз в недоумение от потребности людей в обществе себе подобных. Я тотальный социопат. Или может быть меня таким сделало мое окружение? Практически любой компании я предпочитаю уединенность. Выбор места для отдыха, кафе, парка для прогулки у меня в 99,9% определяется количеством народа в этом месте. Голубо-розовая мечта для меня -это вселенский потоп, или извержение в Йеллоустоне. Наверное это не нормально, но исправлению это не поддается. Что скажете, господа присяжные заседатели?

@темы: I dare say..., Real life